Tuesday, January 21, 2014

That Rebound Effect

On breaking up with a partner, there is a tendency to throw oneself into frantic social activity to stave off depression or to simply get back in the romantic game.  While this is generally harmless, a note of precaution should be sounded just the same.  The first new relationship, especially if it is very soon after the break-up, may be simply a rebound situation where one is desperate to be with someone and cannot really evaluate the new person for who he or she really is.

What to do?  Three things.  First it is necessary to evaluate what attracted you to your original partner in the first place and why that original relationship failed.  This should be done prior to jumping into any future relationship.  Second and third, a skeptical attempt to evaluate the new partner objectively and a delay in rushing things even though you feel head-over-heels in love are good starters.  The main advice is to go slowly!  That rebound guy or girl might just end up being the perfect fit, but you won't know it for some time.  Going too fast can result in misunderstandings and hurt feelings for both parties if they ultimately find out that they are incompatible.  So go slow and get to know the new person without rushing things.  Commitment, if it is right, will blossom and mature on its own time schedule. Think positively and enjoy the new partner on his or her own merits.  Aunt Josie is not saying that a rebound guy or girl will never work out.  After all, Aunt Josie's own wonderful significant other of over 40 years was a rebound. Just understand the rebound dynamics involved and get to know the new person without urgency at a leisurely pace and have fun.