About this time of year, people are making many resolutions to improve the quality of their lives. Aunt Josie can only endorse these, but she suggests a more important general resolution: conquering your fears, or only just one fear, i.e., the fear of looking silly or being somehow diminished by your actions. Fear of looking silly in front of others or of failing in front of others keeps us from growing. It hampers us in our attempts to try new things. It makes us refrain from engaging in activities that can end up making us happier.
Aunt Josie has so often observed people, especially the young, holding back from participating in activities or endeavors for no other reason than fear of failure or looking silly in front of peers. Only when they have consume alcohol or other substances do their inhibitions loosen. If you resolve to try new things while you still have good judgment before indulging in alcohol or other substances and permit yourself to be viewed as one who sometimes takes chances in the pursuit of knowledge, or just a good time, your life will be the richer.
In the long run, people tend to admire those who will sacrifice a little "face" to risk getting something they genuinely want or to engage in an activity which may ultimately open other doors. So resolve to be a little more spirited and adventurous in 2012. You will not regret it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
More than Two (Children, that is)
Aunt Josie received an indirect query about the advisability of having more than two children. Her answer is a resounding "It depends."
It mostly depends on how needy the two children that you currently have are. It also depends on the parents' resources, both emotional and economic. Finally, it depends on your world view and view of family. Aunt Josie would be remiss if she did not at least mention ZPG (Zero Population Growth) as a concept, but she also realizes that some people should parent larger families and have the wherewithal to do so. How much love, energy, and enthusiasm do you have? Also, it is unfair to expect your older children to help you parent the third. If the parents are confident that they can handle three, having the third is a much more viable option.
Can you re-read the "Little Engine that Could" for the third time with gusto for that third child? Looking at your first-born with unbiased eyes, will he or she be harmed by your having to devote more attention to that third child. The first and second born will be held back slightly as the parents attention rightly focuses on the new-born to the detriment of supporting and arranging for the older children's activities. Aunt Josie says to "go for it" only if you are convinced that your older children will not be harmed and you, the parents, have what it takes to spread yourselves a little thinner in addressing the needs of three children.
It mostly depends on how needy the two children that you currently have are. It also depends on the parents' resources, both emotional and economic. Finally, it depends on your world view and view of family. Aunt Josie would be remiss if she did not at least mention ZPG (Zero Population Growth) as a concept, but she also realizes that some people should parent larger families and have the wherewithal to do so. How much love, energy, and enthusiasm do you have? Also, it is unfair to expect your older children to help you parent the third. If the parents are confident that they can handle three, having the third is a much more viable option.
Can you re-read the "Little Engine that Could" for the third time with gusto for that third child? Looking at your first-born with unbiased eyes, will he or she be harmed by your having to devote more attention to that third child. The first and second born will be held back slightly as the parents attention rightly focuses on the new-born to the detriment of supporting and arranging for the older children's activities. Aunt Josie says to "go for it" only if you are convinced that your older children will not be harmed and you, the parents, have what it takes to spread yourselves a little thinner in addressing the needs of three children.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Peter Pan/Don Juan-ism
Certain males view interpersonal romantic relationships as a game where once their quarry has been successfully pursued and wooed, they sooner or later want to move on to the next woman. This strategy, steeped in egotism, will work for a good long time until the late forties/early fifties. Then it starts to look pathetic to outsiders and ultimately leaves the men who follow it without real relationships and connections. They will face old age alone or with women who only value them in terms of their status or financial wherewithal.
An older middle age man continuing to pursue younger women, and ultimately prevailing with those women, will miss all the really important things that a long-term stable relationship can offer. There will be no one to remininsce with, no one to share generational in-jokes, no one to genuinely appreciate the personality that emerges after long term knowledge and commitment. In old age, often there will simply be no one who cares for or about them.
This may be cold comfort for the women who did care and were "dumped" along the way. However, in the long run, they will be better off because they are free to find a man who genuinely appreciates them with whom they can develop a committed realtionship. So to all the Peter Pan/Don Juans out there, just remember, you will in all likelihood end up with the person you love the most, youself.
An older middle age man continuing to pursue younger women, and ultimately prevailing with those women, will miss all the really important things that a long-term stable relationship can offer. There will be no one to remininsce with, no one to share generational in-jokes, no one to genuinely appreciate the personality that emerges after long term knowledge and commitment. In old age, often there will simply be no one who cares for or about them.
This may be cold comfort for the women who did care and were "dumped" along the way. However, in the long run, they will be better off because they are free to find a man who genuinely appreciates them with whom they can develop a committed realtionship. So to all the Peter Pan/Don Juans out there, just remember, you will in all likelihood end up with the person you love the most, youself.
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