Nothing prompts these old negative emotions like betrayal, perceived or real, from people one considers to be friends. How to deal with these emotions, and the people who evoke them, is a real problem for the person who has been injured. Responding appropriately directly to the person who created the anger is of paramount importance so that the anger one is feeling is not displaced onto innocent third parties.
Direct confrontation and information as to how hurt the person is versus simply ignoring the person are both viable prerogatives. Aunt Josie recommends a variation of the direct approach. Writing or e-mailing the offender and spelling out how you feel and how you will treat the person henceforth will allow an outlet for the negative feelings. It may also invite a reply, an apology, a defensive or another negative response which the writer must be prepared to receive. The injured party should also have a plan as to how he will deal with chance encounters in public situations or other social occasions where the betrayer will likely be present. Not attending an event only harms the already dismayed person and will likely have no effect on the betrayer. However, limiting one's attendance and behaving politely but remotely can be effectively remove the person from one's social scene and allow the injured party to maintain other uninvolved friends.
How do you deal with this scenario, readers? Any good suggestions?
No comments:
Post a Comment