Pointing Out the Positive

We do not hesitate to reinforce positive actions when we observe them in children.  This is "good job"/"way to go"- type praise.  However, praise or just plain appreciation is not given to our partners when they have been particularly helpful or considerate.  Merely acknowledging that their assistance during a time of stress or their actions in facilitating something that is important to you have not gone unnoticed goes a long way in building a relationship.  When we are in a pattern where we are quick to criticize our partners, orally communicating our gratefulness for thoughtful actions is even more important.  So, take the time to tell your partner that her/his little thoughtful act has been noticed and appreciated.  It can only enhance how you both feel about each other.