Doubting One's Choices and Making Good Ones

Nosy Aunt Josie has received an inquiry with the following abbreviated history as a lead-up to the question of "Why can't I recognize the toads from the princes?"

In summary, without revealing the source, the first guy she dated was a starving-artist type who professed great love (until he didn't) with cool pheromone connection, etc. but not much in common.  The second guy had professional values in common, but was somewhat younger, and ungraciously severed contact after five or six dates.

Aunt Josie has one comment and several observations about this situation.  First, as I tell all my single friends and acquaintances, "you've got to meet (and  date and, maybe, kiss) a lot of toads before you find a prince."  This is just life.  The first observation is that you are learning from your experiences.  First guy -"obvious wrong guy" for a professional woman seeking a mate.  Not even close to the life traveler that you are seeking.   Second guy - "not such an obviously wrong guy," but young, probably too young, and not ready to settle down into a relationship, or was in deep enough to realize that you were not suitable for him.  Clearly a cad in the manner in which he broke it off.

The second observatio is that these things hurt and are difficult, but in the end, they lead to the right person.  Really concentrate on venues, friends, and social situations where you are likely to encounter someone with your values and attitudes.  Age, education, professional status, and outlook all matter when you are seeking a partner.  He or she must also "smell" right, i.e., pass the pheromone test because if there is absolutely no chemistry between you, no matter how right the person is, it is not going to work. 

So, inquirer, you are learning from each relationship.  Get out there and date.  Don't despair, but check out geeks, professional friends with friends, plain-old friends who have someone they think you should meet, fund-raisers, educational and political meetings, and any other venues where you are likely to meet someone in your age group who appeals to you.  Let Aunt Josie know how it all works out.

P.S. You probably do not want to contact Mr. Rude even if he has a good excuse as to why he did not call, unless there was death or serious injury involved.  You can ask your friend who introduced you what the deal was if you are really interested in why he dropped off your radar.