Thinking about compatibility or, more to the point, incompatibility, when evaluating a potential mate is not something that jumps to the fore in the throws of first love and romance. However, once a person becomes a serious contender as a mate/spouse, the question posed in the title of this blog should take center stage and get primary consideration. Can you put up with the way he laughs? the way she interrupts in conversation? her continuous insecurity? his tireless reiteration of the same three stories highlighting his physical prowess?
No one is perfect, of course. However, we can tolerate certain flaws in our partner while other deficits can drive us nuts. When relationships are new and exciting, no one wants to even think about imperfections in their potential partner. However, as the relationship matures and the warts inevitably show, it is much smarter to acknowledge, analyze, and evaluate whether you can accept the person, warts and all, and live with the imperfections. Thinking that you can "change" or "improve" your partner is unrealistic and ultimately a recipe for a disastrous end to the relationship. While people can and do change and improve themselves in many small and subtle ways if they themselves are motivated to do so, normally what you see is what you get. So the smart decision is to ask oneself the question "Can I put up with her (or him) as (s)he presents herself (himself) today?" If the answer is "no," save yourself some heartbreak and keep on looking.
Remember that warts backwards is straw.....And I have no idea of the significance of that statement....Perhaps a wart that cannot be tolerated is the last straw?
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