Everyone in an adult relationship must engage in "the dance." By the dance, Aunt Josie means getting one's emotional needs met while helping to fulfill your partner's emotional needs. As in a real dance, at times one leads and the other follows. But unlike most real life dances, for the dance to be successful, the partners must switch off in who leads and who follows. For this to go well, there must be communication and signals which can be readily interpreted so that the couple does not stop dancing and descend into "But I thought your said....and I know I said this but I really meant that, etc."
Just as with a ball room dance, initially couples are clumsy. But if they stay with it, really make an attempt to learn the signals and the techniques required for the dance, eventually they can glide across the floor (i.e., navigate the ups and downs that real life presents) with a degree of skill and savvy which at some point becomes second nature.
Give and take, lead and follow, support and venture out alone, enjoy the dance without misgivings. It is a fascinating part of adult life that makes us more fully human.
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