In one of Aunt Josie's last posts she talked about not counting someone out using dumb criteria for exclusion. In this post, I want to talk about how important it is to consider intrinsic qualities that exist in a potential partner. If such important positive qualities like kindness, consideration, selflessness, intelligence, initiative, (you name what is really important to you) are not evident to you after three or four dates, do not waste your time. Move on.
Conversely, if you see various negative traits which appear routinely or excessively within the short period of time that you are getting to know the person, such as volatile, highly critical, selfish, lazy, etc., again don't waste your time. Move on. You cannot change the intrinsic character of a person. Many a person has learned that to their detriment after having invested time, emotional energy, and resources. Look at the total package, give the other person a fair amount of time so that your and your evaluation is accurate. Then allow yourself to pursue or pass on the relationship based on real criteria and not arbitrary reasons concocted in some dream world.
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