Dealing with Tragedy

Aunt Josie has had an inquiry about a very tragic situation.  A young mother, in a hurry to take her child to preschool, inadvertently ran through a stop sign.  She collided with another car.  The driver, a mother of two teenagers, died.  The young mother is now seriously depressed and does not know what she can/should do.  A family member contacted Aunt Josie on behalf of the young mother with a request for advice.

Aunt Josie believes that it is important for the young mother to write a letter to the dead woman's family acknowledging her culpability in the accident, and apologizing without qualification.  She needs to say how sorry she is in a direct and sincere manner.  Notwithstanding that nothing she can say or do will truly mitigate the loss of the mother of the teens, simply telling the truth and expressing her sorrow for the inadvertent act will go a long way.  The dead woman's family will benefit from receiving/hearing the unadorned truth.

A brief consultation with another member of the coffee klatsch brought an important suggestion.  Aunt Kathi felt that it was important for the young mother to "honor" the other woman's life in some way.  She thought that contacting the dead woman's daughters and finding out what she loved or was interested in might be useful.  The young mother might then set up a charity or scholarship or memorial in the woman's name which could honor the woman's life.  Aunt Josie thinks that this is a good idea as it will help to dispel feelings of impotence that the young mother may be experiencing as a result of the accident.

Then the difficult work for the young mother really has to begin.  She needs to get treatment for her own depression and grief so that her own children are not victims of the accident as well.  This work may take the form of writing something that is not sent to anyone wherein the young mother addresses all of her feelings about the accident and just lets her emotions out.  This is a situation where good counseling/psychiatric care is imperative.

Also, no one should expect the young mother's emotional status to change dramatically, immediately.  Time will help her deal with the trauma.  Being good to herself and her own family will also help in the healing.  As this is a virtual coffee klatsch, I am asking my readers what they suggest.  Please post any helpful ideas in the comments section.