Desperation

Many in the dating scene wonder why they are having difficulty getting the second date.   Things start off brightly and the person who definitely wants to follow-up is left wondering why the other person decided not to pursue the relationship.  Aunt Josie believes that often it is because one of the parties is trying too hard.  They exude an aura of intensity, seriousness and/or desperation which scares the other person off before a bona fide connection can be made.

To avoid this, the person who is giving off the serious, intense aura must recognize that they are doing this and STOP! But how?  First, recognize that you are intense and work on keeping things light and noncommittal for the first few dates.  Second, no one want to hear how hard you life is at the present time or a laundry list of all your petty and serious annoyances.  When answering questions about yourself, be truthful but avoid discussing any illnesses or serious impediments to a developing relationship (like a maniacal ex-boyfriend, etc.)  Obviously these things will ultimately come up as the relationship develops and may, in fact, be deal-breakers, but give the person a chance to know you.

Finally and probably most importantly,  have fun on those first few dates.  Don't look at your date as a potential life partner at this stage and scrutinize him.  Just see if she is a friendly person with whom you can share some pleasant experiences.  Arrange to do some fun things for the first couple of encounters and evaluate whether or not this is a person with whom you can laugh.

Nothing will chase away potential partners as fast as a good dose of desperation, so avoid presenting yourself in this way at all costs.