Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Building Your Own Happiness

Both happiness and sadness are emotions with ripple effects!  It is very possible to grasp and build on small pleasures and positive experiences which will often multiply.  This is also the case with sadness and sorrow.  Experiencing something negative and then magnifying it by focusing on it and kvetching about it only serves to make one more discontent and unhappy.

What is not well known or discussed often is attempting to build one's happiness on the misery of others.  Being a party to breaking up a relationship, focusing on yourself to the detriment of others in your family whether it is about expending resources or seeking your own pleasure, or ignoring the emotional needs of those for whom you are responsible for whatever reason, ultimately never results in true happiness.  The negative impact on loved ones will result in guilt if one is sensitive to their feelings and resentment if the person trying to do the building is obtuse to the emotional havoc that he or she is creating.

It just won't work to build your happiness when it is rooted in the misery of others.  So try to take a long view, recognizing the emotional needs of those nearest and dearest to you as you look to magnify or enhance the small happinesses and positive outcomes that you generate.  Starting with a focus on your successes and small pleasures which do not have negative impacts on others will ultimately lead to a grateful, contented, happy personal life for you.

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