One and Only One

For any number of reasons, but primarily because child-bearing is occurring later and later in life and it takes greater financial and emotional resources to raise more than one child in today's modern era, many parents are opting to have an only child.  While the decision can obviously be defended on any number of levels, I believe this to be a great mistake for both parents and the child.

First there is a tendency on the part of as many as six individuals (2 parents and 4 grandparents) to focus inordinate attention on the single child.  Being the center of that much attention is not so healthy in and of itself.  Second, when there are more children in the family, a sibling can serve as a life-long companion and friend.  Regardless of whether the child finds a mate, a sibling (and the power of that sibling bond) can validate many family and life experiences and create a sense of security and family long after the parents have died.  In short, the child is not left alone and lonely.

Finally, with a sibling, there is someone to share the burden of caring for parents once the child is an adult and the parents become elderly.  It's a cruel world out there and caring parents should think long and hard about the danger implicit in creating a situation where the child is "someone's everything." Being "everything," be it the focus of too much attention and spoiling when he or she is younger or the sole support of aging parents when he or she is older, is a hardship.  Living up to these "great expectations" without another sibling to share them can be onerous on many levels, not just the psychological/emotional and financial levels.  China's "one child" policy has proven instructive in this regard.

So do yourself and your child a favor by giving him a brother or sister to love and with whom he can share life's journey.  You won't regret it!